1/03/2008

Tell Me Again About When I Was Born....

This has been a year of increased understanding for Alex and her adoption story. As I have shared previously, we had the priveledge of meeting Alex's birthfather back in June. This opened up numerous opportunities to talk about Alex's story with her and also for her to ask questions. Some of the conversations we've had have been predictable, and others have left me nearly speechless, grasping for the right words.

For some reason, the topic most often comes up in the car. Perhaps it is that we just recently had another wonderful visit with her birthdad, "P"...but she started talking about adoption again today. So I went on to tell her about when she was born and that she was born in a hospital in Buffalo and that is where she came out of her birthmom's tummy. She then exclaimed that she did NOT grow in her birthmom's tummy....but in P's!!!! It was quite funny as I thought she had a clearer idea of where babies grew. But nope, she wasn't hearing any of it at first. It was P and that was that. It is actually sweet though to see the trust that she has built with P. Although she did not grow in his tummy, she does know that there is a very significant connection there and values the part he played and continues to play in her birth/life. And that is what open adoption is all about. Her being secure in who she is and her relationships with us and her birth parent(s).

The next part of the conversation was about how she "got out". She said, "So L's tummy got bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger until it finally exploded and I came out?" Ok, so I may not be ready for that whole explanation, but I did get a good laugh.

And my niece is also somewhat confused as well. This weekend she wanted to know who her birthmom and birthdad were. Amy told her that she was both her birthmom and her regular mom. So she said, then who is my mom like Aunt Sue is to Alex? Poor kid. She also has been known to tell people she is adopted. She just wants to be like her cousin Alex I guess. Too sweet!

3 comments:

Brent & Jodie said...

Oh my goodness, she is one smart little girl. Once again, this is the reason open adoption is so important. What a blessing it is that "P" has come into your life. It is so great that Alex will be able to have that relationship and understand how this all works as she grows.

Colette said...

Wow! She is very smart! Julian will not meet his BP's. That is what our agreement is. We are fine with it and so are they. I am sure one day he will have alot of questions for us. I am bless to have an adoptive brother who will also help with all those questions! Julian will always know that he is adopted and that his BP's loved him enough to do what they did...and how special that is! I love to hear others stories! THanks for sharing!!!

Life with my BOYS! said...

Don't you just love Car Conversations! That is always when my students will ask about how babies or some other topic they find curious but won't just ask about face to face! I think it is great that Alex has such a connection to "P" I can only hope that one day I have the answers that Jake will need. OK I have a secret...I hope to make a road trip to IN this summer..we'll have to see if "A" is ready or willing. Keep up the good work in paving the way for the rest of us!