Birthday Week Ramblings

Last year, on this weekend, we celebrated four birthdays and one birth. I never would have imagined that a year later we'd be adding a first birthday to the mix. At this time last year, we had no idea that our son was about to be born. It's kinda surreal to think that one day you are busy living every day life the best you know how and the next your world is turned upside down in the most magnificent way imaginable.

The month before my daughter's birthday was always a special time. A time of rememberence, appreciation and nostalgia. Of course it's been no differnt with Cullen. I am flooded with memories and emotions of one year ago. The torment of not knowing when, if at all, we'd be blessed with another child. The shock and disbelief of getting "the call". The exhilleration once we finally realized it WAS HAPPENING! And the moment. That magical moment when we saw our son for the first time. And the sybolism of his firstmom graciously and tenderly handing him to us. It's a short burst of time that holds a million thoughts and feelings.

So I often bring myself back. Relive the moments that pass by so quickly, in hopes of never forgetting. And I can feel it like it was only minutes ago. The butterflies in my stomach. The cramped knees and tired eyes of driving thru the night. The feeling of Alex's hand in mine as we walked in the parking lot. The urge to throw up when we passed the hospital flower bed. The smell of the gift shop. The long ride up the elevator and down the hall. Knocking on her door.

And there it is, that moment again. He is right there in front of us. And he is breathtakingly perfect. He is in her arms. Why isn't she crying? She almost seems excited. She is excited. For the journey in which his new life will take him. I can still hear her voice. In it held the excitement of catching up with a long lost friends. I remember the laughs as we talked about our families and traditions. And of course the bittersweet tears. The promises to stay in touch. Our promise to her that we would take care of him.

In all the days of my life, I will remember every detail of how our children came to us. Cherish every moment of that time and never forget the sacrifices that were made to make us family.