Adoption Update

Well, not that there is much to update on, but it is all starting to come together. I completed "most" of the paperwork last week and Shawn and I went for our fingerptrinting on Thursday. The officer was really nice and even printed Alex so she could take home a keepsake. The only forms I still need to complete are our physicals and wait for a copy of Alex's Birth Certificate. I'd send in my own copy, but the County Clerk has all our Birth Certificates while they go through the verification process for our passports.

They say about 10 weeks for the fingerprinting to be processed, so that means we are looking at mid August before we can expect to be approved and offically "waiting". Then the drama will begin. So for now, I can just sit back, relax and enjoy the summer!!!

Jiminy Cricket & Madame Butterfly

This post could have just as well been labled "All Things Creepy". Because as much as my daughter enjoys the more feminine things in life, she also likes the icky stuff that I thought was just reserved for boys.

In school yesterday Alex was supposed to bring a bug or insect, fake or real. Of course she chose REAL. It is amazing what we will do for our children. So at 8:30pm on Monday night I trapsed off to PetSmart to purchase "Jiminy", pictured below. For 11 cents, I saved myself from digging in the garden by flashlight. The cricket was a hit, and except for a few stray ants, all the childrens' insects stayed put nicley in their prospective jars.


At home, we also have these beautiful Painted Ladies. It is one of those kits that you send away for the caterpillar larva and watch caterpillers turn into butterflies. Alex thinks they are pretty neat and I have done fairly well having them in my home. Which anyone who knows me well, knows what an accomplishment that is. So we will keep them a few more days before releasing them into the world. Me, I will likely be hovered under the workbench in the garage when this takes place.

Happy Birthday, Teri!!!!

Please forgive me for being the world's worst friend. I will try not to forget next year.

The Paperchase

We received our two inch homestudy packet today. For those that aren't familiair with the process the packet includes forms where we disclose everything from our medical and financial records to the type of adoption we are interested in considering. Even though we have been through this before, I found this packet to be very overwhelming today....so much so that I just put it away entirely. So I will pull it out later tonight and try to complete one form at a time, until it is complete! On Monday I will call about getting fingerprinted, make a physical appointment, and send away for copies of our birth certificates and marriage certificate. I believe this portion of the process is called The Paperchase.

I'm Published!

I added a link in the upper left hand corner that will take you to our first adoption story. I was contacted by an author interested it telling our story, amoung others. The book is called "A Personal Touch on Adoption" and was published in 2005. So if you are up for a long read, grab a soda and sit back and relax.

Call Me Crazy

Call me crazy, but I made a purchase today that I have had my eye on.

Anyone who knows me, knows what a planner I am. So of course the whole adoption thing makes my hair stand on end. The unsettledness of not knowing when our baby will come, where he or she will come from and the circumstances surrounding his or her arrival. So what CAN I control in this process? Answer: the nursery! As I did while preparing for my daughter's arrival, I intend to start the nursery before a match/placement. For me it is cathardic. So after months of looking at different patterns, I decided on Cocalo Baby's Alphabet Soup. It is gender neutral and even more adorable in person. So today, I purchased these prints off e-bay! My very first purchase for this new baby!!!!

I still remember my first purchase for Alex. We had literally JUST made the decision to adopt. Suddenly I was filled with hope and just knew our baby would arrive in time. So after years of denying myself even the thought of browsing the baby departments, I allowed myself one purchase...a Gund stuffed dog (a Golden Retriever of course). Alex still sleeps with it and I smile each time I think about that shopping trip and the hopes it held.


So anyways, this is the bedding that the prints coordinate with. And it just so happens that I painted the walls the perfect color green already! I am just tickled pink...or blue!

Life

Found these little guys (or gals) in a bush in our backyard. New life always makes me smile.

And then there were two...

So, I still haven't found my camera. I borrowed my father-in-law's last week to take some pics of the house. I was really reaching the point of frustration. I had opened every box possible in search of my missing camera. It was somehow lost in the move. So yesterday morning I moped around, rather annoyed that I wasn't immediately greeted with a "Happy Mother's Day" from my husband. (Alex remembered, she actually woke me up telling me it was Mudder's Day.) Alas, I was finally given my gift. Nothing could have been more perfect....a new camera!!!!!!! Thank you, Shawn.

So we had lunch and I opend the camera and fiddled with it for about 5 minutes before leaving for my inlaws. We get to my inlaws, and I give my father-in-law his camera back. He asked why I need his camera, when I have nearly the identical one. To which I told him that mine was apparently lost in the move. He chuckles and says "no it wasn't, I found it in one of my boxes last night." AHHHHHHH!!!!

Had I known this, it would have saved a lot of money. Now we supposedly can't return it. So what to do? Shawn suggested taking some pics with it and seeing which one I liked better, the old or new. If there wasn't much difference he would try to return the new one. So I did, and it takes fabulous pictures!!! Looks like I am keeping it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thoughts of you today

May for me is a time of great reflection. I am able to reflect on my jouney to motherhood and more importantly the woman who gave so much so that I might be called mom. Today I celebrate my daughter's mother.

Lauran, not a day goes by that I don't think of you. I think of you when my daughter laughs and when she cries. As I watch her playing and as she lays warm and safe in bed each night. I am so thankful that you were willing to make this sacrifice for her, and more selfishly, thankful at the blessings I have received from being her mom. Although we may not be in contact, I think about you often. I wish I could share with you the wonder of this amazing child. To tell you how proud I am of her, and of you. Instead, I will say and extra prayer for you today. Wherever you are, I pray that the grace of God is upon you. I pray that one day our paths will meet and I can thank you from the bottom of my heart for this blessing we call Alex.

A Mom Because of Her
Written in honor of my daughter’s birthmother
On our first "Mother’s Day"


The joy I feel today is somehow mixed with pain,
A title once hers, now offered up for me to gain.
You see, I became a mother in a not so usual way,
At the loving hands of someone else, I celebrate today.

I am now called Mother, because she made it so;
She sacrificed her role with love, and let her baby go.
Now cards and flowers are mine, and happy wishes too;
Will you remember her as well, or will you have no clue.

She too is still a mother, even on this special day
Though no longer in her arms does her baby lay,
But forever in her heart remains a love so strong and pure
And as I enjoy this day, I remember I’m a mom because of her.

~Susan Reardon 2004

Happy Birthmother's Day, Lauran!

For those still waiting to be Mommies

To my friends who still await that magical moment or who have had that moment only to have it taken away too quickly. I know how difficult the month of May can be. For weeks, we hear stories of Motherhood, stories of love. We often sit back on the sidelines with nothing to contribute. No stories of our pregnanies, our hours of labor, or even our adoption journeys. We are not acknowledged, though in our hearts, we are already mothers (it's just our babies haven't found their way to us yet). So we try to remain hopefully, and most days...we are pretty successful. But I assume that this Sunday will be more difficult than most. So I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of each of you and pray that next year your arms and your hearts will be filled.

I also thought I was take a moment and share with you another one of the poems I wrote while we waited. I know no one can truly help ease the pain, but just know that you are not alone and it is ok to feel discouraged.

The Day I Hate Most of All

Some days I’ve learned to dread
More than all the rest,
Difficult to get through
I try my very best.
The day I hate most of all
Always comes in May,
It happens each and every year
We call it Mother’s Day.
In church they’re given flowers
At home a handmade card,
Dad making everyone some lunch
Kids playing in the yard.
Reminds me what I do not have
Instead of what I do,
A little one to give a hug
And say, “Mom, I love you”.
Tomorrow I will live again
Just let me mourn this day,
I pray that I can make it
Through another Mother’s Day.

~Susan Reardon

I should also note that only a month after writing that poem, my moment came.

Sent in Registration!

Ok, so I haven't "technically" sent it in. But the registration packet is all filled out, the check is signed, the envelope is addressed and the mailbox here at work is right outside my office. So why the hesitation? I am not sure, really. I am wonderfing if this is normal and guessing it is.

It may be beacuase this time around I am going in with eyes wide open. I know the roller coaster I am stepping onto and the vulnerability that awaits. It's a scary place. But I have seen and experience daily the wonders of adoption and have faith that our second journey will be as rewarding as the first.

So I will do it. I will take this first step.

Sis

Thought I'd post a little tribute to my sister, Kris, as today is her 37th birthday. My sister has been there for me my entire life. When mom was working, sis was there. When I was scared to sleep alone at night, sis was there. When we lost our dad, she was there. As the years have passed she continues to be there, never ceasing to be an endless source of strenght and encouragement.

I wrote this poem for my sister several years ago while struggling with infertility. I'm not sure how, but she always seemed to know what I need. Most times, it was just someone to "be there" and to listen.

A Friend Like No Other
For my sister, who has been my unfailing source of strength

My light in the darkness, moon in the sky,
Beacon of hope, when hard times come by.
My strength to press on, when weakness is nigh,
Willing to wipe, each tear from my eye.
Lends her hand to lift up, each time I’m down,
No other like she, I ever have found.
Thinks first not of self, but needs such as mine,
Always willing to help or give of her time.
A friend like no other, I’ve oft’ called her this,
But most of the time, I just call her Sis.

Happy Birthday, Sis! I love you.